5 People a Pregnant Person Needs ASAP
5 People a Pregnant Person Needs ASAP
They say it takes a village to raise a child, but you need to find these village members long before your due date.
Written by Liz Bayardelle, PhD | See Comments | Updated 04/03/2021
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Pregnancy is a magical and beautiful moment in a woman's life, but it can also be stressful, overwhelming, and exhausting. (Awesome, right? Not.) You're on the parenting rollercoaster now. You have no control, just throw your hands up and say "wheeeee"!
Naturally, you will most likely have the support of your partner, family, and friends around you. Nonetheless, it is crucial to also know the resources that will make your life easier once your little potato arrives.
Looking for these professional helpers might feel unnecessary, but it can help you cope with all the extra responsibilities that might accompany your new baby. Seriously though, you are going to be way busier than you think once the baby comes (especially if you already have kids), so get these things out of the way now. Harness some of those awesome pregnancy jitters into productivity so they can do something good for a change.
In the sections below, you can find five essential contacts that you should have before the end of your pregnancy - and you should pick them carefully!
Midwife and Obstetrician
Undoubtedly, the first two professionals on this list are your midwife and obstetrician. Alongside yourself, they run the show! (And will do so for you in the "I have no idea what the heck is even happening to my body" moments.) So, if you have a choice, make sure you are selecting the right ones for your needs. Aside from talking to your friends who had babies, you might also look into a midwife's certifications and affiliation. Google and Yelp everyone you consider. The internet doesn't know everything but it will definitely let you know if there's a major dealbreaker you should know about.
Their reputation is also something important, as it might give you a good indication regarding whether that's the right partner for your needs. Indeed, don't forget that they'll be by your side during one of the most delicate and stressful moments of your life - make sure you are compatible!
We picked a doctor we absolutely looooove for both our babies and I may have formed an unnatural attachment to her. After our second delivery, I am 97% convinced she is an actual angel who somehow fits her wings into a lab coat.
Dietitian
With plenty of blogs and articles that can be found online, newly pregnant mothers often feel that they can adjust their diets without the help of a professional dietitian. However, there is such an excessive amount of information out there that it is easy to misunderstand what is actually good for you and the baby.
IMPORTANT OBVIOUS INFORMATION: Do not try any crazy, extreme, or fad-like diet during pregnancy. Do not eff with your baby's source of nutrition. Seriously. Especially not one you found for yourself on the internet.
Additionally, what works for someone else might not be the best choice for your needs! Ultimately, you should consider being in touch with a dietitian who can help you better understand your baby's needs.
Pregnant Women Group
Of course, you already have all the resources you need to be a great mother. However, it is also important to find the right support group to share experiences with during this extremely important moment in your life.
If you want an official pregnant women support group, congratulations they are everywhere. You are likely to find one in your neighborhood, town, or even online! Thanks to these support groups, you can understand that what you are feeling is normal (and most likely way more common than you think) and have help to deal with difficult situations. And, of course, the women in your group and their children might remain in your life for years to come!
Honestly, you don't even need pregnant friends or support. Any mom who's ever been pregnant will all-too-happily swap horror stories, advice, and gynecologist jokes with you. Some of my best resources during my pregnancies (especially my first) were the moms who had already been through it.
An Estate Lawyer
A lawyer wouldn't strike as one of the most important contacts to have before giving birth. However, your due date will be a whirlpool of emotions, feelings, and responsibilities. I'm NOT saying you necessarily need birth injury lawyer or anything crazy and draconian, but realizing you need to find an estate lawyer is one of those "oh crap, I'm that much of an adult now" moments.
Just like you buy insurance for a car you don't plan to crash and locks for your doors even though you don't anticipate a burglar, you need to plan for every possible thing that could go wrong...because you're not just providing for yourself anymore. It's your job as a responsible (argh) adult to ensure that your kids are set no matter what.
CAUTION: If you are currently pregnant or already have kids this process will make you cry. That is normal. Hormones, maternity, and emotions make you cry during the average mascara commercial, so planning for worst-case scenarios is that much more of a waterworks festival. Just get through it as quickly and thoroughly as possible and then do your best to forget about the whole process.
Childcare Options
Leaving your baby for a few hours in the care of someone else can be the most terrifying of things for new parents. However, it is absolutely impossible not to need an "in case of emergency" childcare option.
I'm not saying you don't enjoy family time, and you don't need to use them often, but if you have to go to a doctor's appointment that doesn't allow kids to tag along, if something comes up with an older sibliing, or if you want to *gasp* see your spouse for 15 minutes without a screaming baby in your arms, you do need to have at least the plausible possibility of a babysitter.
Interviewing and selecting your future child's carer before your due date allows you to get to know each other for some time and build a relationship of trust. You don't need to plan to use them any time soon (because as a new mom I know I got twitchy when my own husband held the baby too long), but having someone there in case of emergency is really just the responsible thing to do.
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About the Author
Liz Bayardelle, PhD
Founder | Contributor
Liz (or Dr. Mommy, as her toddler started calling her after learning what a PhD was) is the happily sleep-deprived mom of a toddler (and professional raccoon noise impersonator), a sparkle-clad kidnado, a teenage stepdaughter, 200 cumulative pounds of dog, and herd of dustbunnies (if daily vacuuming doesn't occur). During nights and naptimes, she uses her PhD in business psychology as an author, speaker, and consultant. She also serves as an executive and principal for three companies, two of which she co-founded with her very patient (and equally exhausted) husband.