Chatting With My Kids

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Chatting With Your Kids

When I had my third child, I noticed the older two needed more attention. Ever since they were babies we read three books at their bedtime. They then went to sleep with a little light-up hippo from VTECH that told them stories and lit up the room. This routine worked well. You can really count on a light-up hippo to provide comfort.
Well after the book reading ended, I told my oldest son James that we can sit and “chat” for a minute. We sat down and asked him about his day. He was almost four years old so this wasn’t what I’d call riveting material, but he loved it. After about a week James would say, “we can talk about this later in 'chat' ”. I went to his room later that week and he cut out the letters, “C H A T” and glued it to his wall. The fact that he glued it to his wall is not relevant, however, it really sums up the yin and yang of this family. We have great ideas paired with the absolute worst.
Anyway, my middle son Christopher, who is not one to follow the crowd wasn’t too impressed with “chat”. He did it, but he had other ideas of what this time would be. With James, he wanted to have a conversation. Christopher wanted to play a quick game or show my husband and me the flip he was working on. Almost never did this time include sitting. Sometimes he would suggest a quick art project or a round of guess that song.
My daughter was the reason we started, “Chat”. As she had gotten older she was ready to chat until the cows came home. My daughter’s chat time is a lot of Barbies. My Barbie is always a little rude for some reason and I wonder if my internal dialog is showing. Her Barbie is usually the prettiest, and by far the most bossy. But she sure loves that we do this. As the years have gone on, it is common practice around here. My kids have “books and chat”.
There are days where I know I was really bad at this mom thing. I’ve yelled. I’ve overreacted. I did nothing around the house to better mankind, or my dishes. I have phoned in my duties. I have over planned, or under planned. I have made things stressful or too loose. But as the day winds down, I know that these kids will have this time with me to check in. I don’t use it as excuse to screw up the rest of the day, but I do use it to make sure they know they are somebody without their siblings. I want them to know they are their own person, and someone is here to listen.
If I have learned anything, things that I plan for my kids go great or go terrible. I know that at the end of the day we’re going to have a minute to check in. I have a sense of security, and I know that is what they get from it also.
When I think back to the bone head things I’ve done as a parent, I am most proud of “Chat”. I am not as proud of the year I signed up my 3 and 4 year old sons for Tball, as my 3 year told the entire team they’re a bunch of morons in the dugout. I wouldn’t say I’m thrilled the year I forced my middle son to be a banana for Halloween and I’ve never seen an angrier fruit. Allowing each year for someone to be an inflatable costume, is never, I repeat never a good idea. Once you get past three houses, they quit. Then you get the pleasure of holding a battery pack and cloth for 2 hours.
Chat really is the reigning champion in my home. I hope my kids look back and remember our little talks and not when I said it’s a good idea to paint dad’s dresser.