How To Give Your Teenager Space But Still Stay Connected

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The teenage years are an incredibly stressful time for everybody, including the parents. As your child grows and changes, their wants and needs change too. It's likely that your relationship with them will be very different too, and this can be tough to manage.

They want their own space to grow and you need to give them that, but you also need to stay connected. If you are too overbearing, it will lead to tensions in your relationship. But if you give them too much freedom, you won't be there to help them through this difficult transition period. Finding a balance can be tough, but it is possible. Here's how to master the art of giving your teenager space.

Physically Give Them More Space

When you think about giving your teenager space, you need to consider their physical space as well as their emotional space. They are growing up and they need an area to call their own, where they can express their personality and have some time alone. So, consider your housing situation and think about whether your home is really big enough. As your kids get older, it's not feasible for them to share a room and you need more common spaces so the family is not constantly on top of one another. If your home is feeling cramped, it may be time to consult a home builder or a real estate agent and think about moving. People often underestimate the importance of personal, physical space for teenagers but for them, it's everything. 

Make sure that you give them control over their space too. Allow them to decorate it as they would like and respect it as their space, just like you would with an adult.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

If you truly want to understand your teenager and the way they feel, you need to ask open-ended questions. If you are worried about them and you start asking direct questions, they may feel that you're trying to be too overbearing and they will shut down. But open-ended questions like 'how are you?' give them the opportunity to come to you. It's crucial that they feel that they have space, but they still know that you are there if they need your advice and support. 

Respect Their Privacy

Your teenager always needs to know that their privacy is respected. You may not want to respect it because you worry about them and what they are doing but if you trust them, you will see that they need this time to grow up and become independent.

If you ask them about something and they don't want to tell you, let it go. Don't pry and don't be intrusive because they need their own space to make mistakes and learn from them. The same goes for their physical space. If they want to be left alone in their room, let them, and always knock before entering.

Teach Them To Be Independent Safely

One of the biggest challenges you will face as a parent is learning how to let go and teach your teenager to make their own decisions. This is part of the reason why they need space in the first place; they want to be free but they still need parental guidance.

Instead of being overbearing and never letting them do things on their own, start treating them like an adult and teaching them how to be independent safely. If they want to go out, teach them how to make their own decisions and then encourage them. Make sure that you instill a sense of confidence in them so that they can leave the house on their own and be responsible for themselves. If this is done correctly, there shouldn't be any problem with you giving your teenager space.

Make sure that they have a phone with them at all times so they can contact you if there is a problem. 

Always Put Their Safety First

Although respecting their privacy is important, there are exceptions to that. If you are worried about their safety, it is important to be proactive. This means that if you feel like they are engaging in dangerous activities, like doing drugs or drinking alcohol underage, make sure that you step up and intervene. Not only to help them but also because this could have serious consequences for your relationship with them. Knowing when it is time to step in can be tough, but you will learn over time.

Letting go is tough for parents but if you find the right balance, you can give your teenager space and stay connected at the same time.