How to Keep It All Together through a New Job
when a parent gets a new role, the relationship with the spouse and the children is irremediably transformed. Indeed, when professional responsibilities change, it can affect the whole family.
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Landing a new job is the beginning of an exciting journey.
For a lot of families, however, when a parent gets a new role, the relationship with the spouse and the children is irremediably transformed. Indeed, when professional responsibilities change, it can affect the whole family.
Imagine, for instance, that your spouse has just landed a new position in a different state. While the pay might be better and the company is ready to finance the whole relocation process, your family will be forced to transform its routine, starting by leaving your home.
Additionally, the new role might force one of you to work longer hours. If this is the case, the relationship with the kids could suffer in the process, without mentioning that it could also affect your couple.
Finally, not everyone is always happy or ready to leave the life they’ve built behind. It is a challenging and emotional journey. But you have to consider the well-being of your family as a whole if you want to make the best decision for everyone.
Here are some tips that will help you weather the storm.
Make the Decision Together
When career progression affects the family way of life, it’s essential to discuss it together.
Indeed, you don’t want a sudden change to create bitterness in your couple (which is the most important thing, even though it typically gets the least maintenance).
Typically, imposed transformations can trigger harsh criticism and even contempt, which are according to Dr. Gottman, two of the four horsemen of the marriage apocalypse. In other words, it’s up to your spouse and yourself to openly discuss the ramifications of the new position and consider the well-being of the family as a unit.
While it’s not to say that spouses shouldn’t be supportive (they should) there are only so many dramatic changes you can safely take your family through.
Additionally, if the role is going to interfere with the relationships with the kids or with everyday routines, you need to make sure that children can have a say too.
What If You Need to Move?
If your family chooses to embrace the career move and have to change home, you need to keep things as straightforward and painless as possible.
Working closely with a long distance moving company, you can not only get to understand how to best prepare for the relocation, but also what you need to do. Some removal companies offer a packing and unpacking service that can save you a lot of time and trouble. When you find a pârtner you can trust, you’ve got more time to prepare your goodbyes and prepare emotionally for the change of environment.
Also, make sure to prep your kids thoroughly for everything a move entails. If they feel like they have a say in things (even if it’s just letting them Zillow with you) they’ll be much happier about the change.
Maybe You Can Avoid Moving
In today’s digital age, more and more professionals work remotely.
As businesses are embracing remote working options, there could be a possibility for you or your spouse to change jobs without changing homes.
As a result, you could need to design a home office that keeps a productive workspace...even though there are also small children running around everywhere. It’s essential to use the home office as a delimitation for the kids between family time and work time.
As someone who works almost exclusively from home, having a solid boundary between what is “work time” and what is “kid time” is absolutely essential to your sanity.
The Big Picture
Whatever your situation, try to think about a potential change in jobs (for you or for your spouse) from everybody’s perspective. It’s tempting to get caught up in just thinking from one perspective (i.e. yours), but if you look at things through your kids’ eyes and from your spouse’s eyes, it makes it easier to make rational, balanced decisions that are good for everyone involved.
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About the Author
Founder | Contributor
Liz is a wife, mom, blogger, coder (and unabashed digital nerd), PhD student (and huge psychology geek), workout masochist, and occasional human being. She founded The Stay Sane Mom after marrying into the role of stepmom to a preteen girl (and Instagram addict) and shortly thereafter having her first bio kid (now a toddlernado supreme). Her goal is to provide tools and support to help other capable, sleep-deprived, soul-hungry moms master their domains so they have the time and energy to be more than just 'mom'.
My Motto: All I can control is how hard I work.
My Motto: All I can control is how hard I work.
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